Blog #75

I think a lot of people don’t understand what true love is. Anyone can buy you flowers, candy, and jewelry. Anyone can say I love you and take you to a nice dinner. And anyone can kiss you at the top of a ferris wheel and teach you how to drive a stick. That’s romance, not love. Love is found in the little things that life has to offer. The little things you do every day to show that you care and that you are thinking of them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy so you can see their smile. The way you hold her hand when she is scared, or the way you save the last piece of pie for him. It’s the random text in the middle of the afternoon just to say “I love you” or “I miss you” and the way he stops to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her favorite song to her, and letting her eat your fries. Or telling her she’s beautiful, even when she’s wearing a t-shirt, hair in a ponytail and no makeup. It’s putting your favorite show on pause so she can tell you about her day, and laughing at his jokes, even when they are really lame. It’s slow dancing in the kitchen, and kissing in the rain because you don’t want to say goodbye yet.

But more than that, love is happiness. It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the covers and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn over and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world is on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the gentlest manner so as not to wake them. You turn back over and an involuntary grin forms across your face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.

Falling in love with someone happens in the moments when you never even notice it’s happening. It happens when you are watching them, sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with their chest rising and falling with their own rhythm. It happens when you see them reading a book, with their eyes fluttering and glowing. It’s when you see them looking at you and you can feel the love and care inside their heart. It happens when you see them smiling and laughing with happiness leaking out of them.

Suddenly, you realize that you want to know more about this person. You want to know what song they listen to at 2 am, sitting in their bed, laptop on their lap, screen dimly lighting up their face. You want to watch them quietly pace through the their kitchen barefoot on a Sunday morning, humming as they make their coffee, carefully turning the pages of that new book they just started reading. You want to know what that one line from that song is that makes their heart drop into their stomach. You want to hear about that time when they were six that makes them grin uncontrollably, and about that time when they were ten that makes their eyes water. You want to watch them in a room with nothing but white walls and an acoustic guitar. You want to know what it is they see right before they fall asleep at night. You want to know what gets them by, what makes them mad, what makes them laugh, and what makes them cry.

And you want to know everything about their past. You want to know about that time when they were five and tried to run away from home. You want to know about their old dog that died when they were eight. You want to know about their toy soldier collection and you want to see the pictures from little league. You want to know what class they always skipped in high school and all about their senior prom and the awkwardness of their first time. You want to know what they were really feeling on graduation day and you want to know about college. You want to know about the girl he swore he’d never leave. And about the last girl he kissed on New Year’s Eve. You want to know the most they’ve said with just one word, and you want to read that letter they never sent.

You want to know about their future too. You want to hear about that three story, five bedroom house they want to have in the mountains one day. You want to know about the kids they want someday and what they will name them. You want to know about that job that they will love. You want to know where they see themselves at fifty, and you want to know their biggest fear about growing old.

And you deserve someone who wants to know all of this about you. You deserve someone who loves you when you wake up in the morning. Someone who stops you from running to the bathroom to fix yourself before they can even get a glimpse of you. Someone who tells you how beautiful you are, not just in the way you look, but in the way you hold their hands and laugh at their jokes. You deserve someone who sends you messages when they don’t know whether to get coffee or tea at Starbucks. Someone who shares their cookies with you when they only have one left in the jar. You deserve someone who buys you pizza when you’ve had a bad day and who listens to you complain about the lyrics in a song that do not adhere to your logic or the script of a television show that didn’t go according to your plan. You deserve someone whose kisses make you forget you were even upset in the first place. Someone who holds you like an antique vase. Someone who sees your face first in a crowd and someone who finds you in every person they meet.

You deserve someone who will give you wings to soar and then decide to fly with you. You deserve this because this is love, and you deserve love.

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